In our recent ENGL 450 Daily Themes class, Professor Ehrgood showed us the following:

Passage 1, written by a 12-year-old:

We started out on a beautiful morning with a bright sky above us and a cooling south wind. Nature was in her full glory, the air smelt sweet, birds were singing loudly, squirrels scampered up trees at our approach and rabbits’ tails disappeared down burrows at our presence.

Lambs jumped around friskily tormenting their mothers for nourishment. Cows lay lazily chewing their cud among the buttercups. A little foal galloped alongside her mother on its spindly legs. In another field a ploughman plodded along behind his horses furrowing the field Butterflies fluttered from flower to flower.

And so our journey went on in the presence of Nature’s glory. Oh what a wonderful thing to be alive!

At Langham we refueled ourselves and continued our journey.

Passage 2, written by a 10-year-old:

When I leave school I am going to be a comosole traveler, (that is, a commercial traveler, British for traveling salesman), I would go to all sorts of shops and see what goods they want. I would go to the sweet shops espeshly. Why I would like to be a comosole traveler is because you get good money and on Sunday you can keep the car and go out to the seaside free. I have a long time to go before I leave school yet because I am only ten. My mother wants me to be a comosole traveler as well. At first my mother wanted me to be a macanicle engineer. She said you can pay up for a car weekly the boss would take it out of your wages but I would rather get a car free. If I would get the sack which I most probably will I would like to be a coal miner and dig coal from the pit. Theres one thing I would not like to happen to me or eney miner in the mine is the coal to fall in. What my mother thinks of it is too dangerous but I like using my muscles of caurse you have to have only a vest and trouses on. You get good mony on it because it is a dangrous job of course

Professor Ehrgood explained

The 12-year-old boy writes well and what you want to hear. But his writing seems devoid of personality. Professor Ehrgood likened his writing to being in prison, trapped on what to say and what others want to hear.

The 10-year-old boy is a much worse writer. But he has something to say. There is a person behind it.

You should strive to be the 10-year-old.