A Voracious Butterfly

Well-rounded but doesn’t drop out of 20 clubs by the second week because “they’re just hobbies”;
Well-traveled but doesn’t count countries they’ve visited on their Instagram like it’s a body count;
Well-spoken but doesn’t use SAT words to order their burrito bowl from Chipotle.

Academically ambitious but doesn’t tell you their major is “Ethics, Politics, and Economics and ABET Chemical Engineering with certificates in Data Science and Chinese”;
Drinks the liberal arts Kool-Aid but doesn’t take so many courses outside their major that they can’t finish their ECON requirements as a super senior;
Works smarter not harder but doesn’t resort to asking “I’m just looking for inspiration for how to start” to the TA that always gives answers at 8 PM office hours.

Independent thinker but not simultaneously president of the Party of the Right, Yale Dems, and the YPU to “prove a point;”
Intellectually out there but doesn’t write their thesis on the semiotics of toilet paper and Foucault’s theories applied to modern-day bathroom etiquette;
Low-key and definitely doesn’t describe themself as “socially liberal, fiscally conservative” even if it is a perfectly accurate description of their actual beliefs.

A Fantastic Financier

Career-focused but isn’t a computer science and economics major announcing their junior summer internship for Goldman Sachs on LinkedIn as a first year;
Entrepreneurial but isn’t an ECON major reaching out to a CS kid with “I have an idea and it’s going to be the next big thing;”
Has strong connections but isn’t a legacy who calls their parents and grandparents “mother,” “father,” “grandmother,” and “grandfather;”
Economically conscious but not breaking down their opportunity cost when explaining why they’re dating you.

Climate conscious but isn’t doing their energy studies thesis on the evils of capitalism as their “last hurrah” before selling their soul to ExxonMobil;
Socially active but isn’t doing impact investing “for the opportunity to create unprecedented social change through where the money is;”
Diligent but not spending the rest of their life centering company logos on Bain PowerPoints;
Optimistic but doesn’t say they’re joining J.P. Morgan to “change finance from the inside.”

A Healthy Human Who Knows How to “Grab a Plate”

Appreciates caffeine but not enough to make their heart palpitate through all 25 days of their midterms;
Enjoys bubble tea but doesn’t spend over $94.50 a week for their daily fix at Whale Tea.

Agreeable but doesn’t say “we should grab a meal sometime” when they’ve already GCal’ed 25 weeks into the semester;
Resourceful but doesn’t show up to Franklin dinner with an empty backpack and to-go boxes because “fresh vegetables are too expensive at Elm City Market.”
Knows where to eat out but not so much that they have a factory farm on Snackpass;

Healthy but not counting calories to the decimal during their daily “casual 2K” around East Rock at 6 AM;
Open to exercise but not gyming the first week to “to increase their rizz” only to never touch a weight again.
Sporty but not tryharding every pick-up basketball game against first-years at the Berkeley basketball courts.
Engaged in IM’s but doesn’t enlist the Yale tennis team to beat Saybrook 11-0 in Pickleball

Laid-back but doesn’t show up an hour late to their senior seminar that only meets once a week after lunch;
Sleeps well but not so well that they miss 9 AM classes but “it’s okay because it’s a lecture class;”
Sleeps in but not so much that they only get to use 5 meal swipes a week of their full meal plan.

An Ardent Adventurer

Artistic but doesn’t sketch naked portraits of their philosophy professor during lecture;
Adventurous but doesn’t have sex in Stacks at 2 AM during finals week;
Exploring relationships doesn’t match your roommate on Tinder and your best friend on Hinge.
Enjoys life but isn’t a Woad’s Scholar.